Partly cloudy skies. Low 54F. Winds light and variable..

Partly cloudy skies. Low 54F. Winds light and variable.

Lately I’ve been in house repair mode, trying to do as much as I can by myself after work while there is still plenty of abundant sunshine.

I’m not a carpenter, nor do I claim to have any carpentry skills. Still you learn by trying.

It’s harder to use a saw, and other tools, once it is dark outside. In fact, I prefer using the saw outside, so there is less mess to clean up inside. So I make use of the bright sunlight after work for as long as I can.

I realized I was putting a lot of effort into this recent home-improvement experiment after spending almost an entire Saturday applying shiplap to a wall, and then another wall. The hardest part of the job was measuring the various pieces of wood, and then cutting them to match the wall in question. I’m now working on a third wall, and with hope I am getting better at this.

The end result with shiplap is an attractive, rustic look. But there are still walls to be done. The problem, of course, is I don’t have enough wood to complete all of the walls. So I have to pick and choose what can be done at any given time. Shiplap, just like everything else nowadays, is quite expensive thanks to inflation.

The first half of that particular Saturday in question was spent cutting the out-of-control hedges outside. This proved to be a job in itself, particularly considering that the hedges were larger than the ladder I was standing on.

Yes, I fell off the ladder at one point during the hedge-trimming job. Thankfully, I had a graceful landing, and no one saw me fall because the hedges — once again — were so large.

I didn’t even have any bruises the following morning. So I was lucky.

A few days earlier, I saw Rick here at the newspaper trimming the hedges outside of our building. Suddenly a light came on in my head. I realized I needed to cut the gigantic hedges back home, too. But I didn’t have a hedge cutter.

So I compared prices, and it turns out — despite rampant inflation and all — you can still actually buy an electric hedge trimmer without breaking the bank.

Now that the hedges are finally cut, I’ll need to make a concerted effort to keep them under control.

Another project didn’t turn out to be as easy as shiplapping or cutting hedges.

I also bought a new outdoor grill to replace the lone, and archaic, grill I had. That one was so old that it was likely a safety hazard.

But I should have read the box a little closer before committing to the newer grill.

There in large letters on the front of the box were the words “some assembly required.” Oh boy. You know what that means.

Once I opened the box, I realized the so-called grill was in dozens of pieces. Even the wheels were not attached. When the main box includes a smaller box full of bolts, screws and washers, you know you are in for a long day — or in my case a long night ahead.

The box also proclaimed, “Easy assembly in 30 minutes or less.”

Sure. I started trying to piece this jigsaw puzzle of a grill together shortly after 8:30 p.m., and finally finished well after 11 p.m.

The so-called instruction booklet consisted of about five illustrations that were supposed to show where each screw and bolt went. It made no sense to me. Of course, I also dropped one of the screws needed for one of the wheels, and then I couldn’t find it.

It was already dark, so I used a flash light and searched throughout the kitchen floor. The screw fell out of my hand. But where did it go? I searched and searched and still couldn’t find it. Luckily, I found another screw in a kitchen cabinet that was close enough to get the job done.

Back in the old days, things you would buy at the store were normally already assembled. Or if some assembly was required, it was minimal at best. Nowadays you are expected to put everything together by yourself. I even had this happen to me two or three years ago with a lawnmower. It was largely unassembled, and I had to have help putting the thing together. And after all of that work the lawnmower lasted for all of one season. What a waste of time and money.

At this point, I’ll take cutting and installing shiplap any day over attempting to assemble an unassembled grill or lawnmower.

Grills and lawnmowers should be already assembled when you buy them, at least in my humble opinion.

Charles Owens is the Daily Telegraph‘s managing editor. Contact him at cowens@bdtonline.com. Follow him @BDTowens

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